Part 6: Finding Love & Loving Myself
Single Mom Routine
To love yourself is quite possibly one of the hardest things to do, especially as a female. At this point in my life, I was a single mom with two kids and a business. I had no idea what I was doing or where my life was going. I knew I had to be strong for my kids, and I had to focus on growing my business.
During this time, I fell into a routine. As most of us do, a day to day routine of wake up, work, mom, sleep, and then repeat the next day. I was learning to be okay with this. Being a single mom was hard, but I love my kids more than life. Most people wake up not wanting to go to work, I loved my "job" and being at the boutique.
I found working out to be my "stress reliever." I worked hard to lose the baby weight and to learn to love myself and my body again. I was content with where I was and even said more than once I would never get married again. (Ha!) I made it my new mission to just be happy and believe that everything happens for a reason and that my reason would come.
That's exactly what Matt (MP) is. He is my reason. The reason everything before him didn't work out. The reason I needed to lose myself and to find myself again, in a whole new way. The reason I am a better mom and a happier mom. He is without a doubt the REASON that everything in my life thus far has happened the way that it has.
Matt and I crossed paths at a party my family was having in October 2014. You know those easy conversations you have with someone? The ones you don't have to try to find a topic to talk about? That happened with him and me that night. We talked for HOURS. I later told my mom that he was my soulmate. Truth!
In my mind, I knew I was crazy and that he would never want to be in a relationship with me. I was a single mom with TWO kids. Jace was only 3 months old. I had myself convinced that it couldn't work. Parenting was my priority at this point in my life, and it was Matt's current priority with his son as well.
Well, it did work! Like everything that happened before him, he came into my life unexpectedly and he made me love myself all over again.
He makes me a better person and more importantly a better mom. Like all couples, we have had our ups and downs, but we always get through it and become stronger.
Over the last few years we have spent our time blending our family the best way we know how. We bought a house last year, and it is by far my favorite place on this earth. It is loud and crazy and chaotic, but it is filled with so much love and laughter, and it is OURS. A place that our family can call home, a place we have already made so many memories in and will continue to make so many more. We have become a team together and it is the BEST feeling.
To know someone has your back, as a friend, as a co-parent, as a business owner, I could have never imagined I would ever find someone that supports me the way that he does. He is my number one fan in all aspects of life.
Loving You Is Easy
When you find someone who just gets you, someone who makes love easy... there is no way to describe the feeling. After the roller coaster ride of a life I have had, he has made me who I am today. He has opened my eyes to see who I want to be. He picks me up when I am down and pushes me forward when I have a moment of weakness or doubt. He is an AMAZING father and makes us all feel loved every second of every day. I am forever thankful that he came into my life at the exact time my kids and I needed him.
Point of this week's blog, you have to love yourself before you can let anyone else love you.
I had a guard up when Matt and I first started talking; we both did. It's scary to let someone in and to believe in love again. We all have insecurities and we all have past. But we all have a future too, it's never clear what they may be, it isn't something that can be planned.
I have learned that it's OKAY to not have a plan. It's OKAY to take time for yourself. It's OKAY to be alone and to figure out who you really are and to love yourself again. It's also OKAY to let someone love you, not all relationships end badly.
Love is real, real love is out there. EVERYONE deserves to find their soulmate. I think you just have to learn to love yourself first and everything will fall into place. Everything happens for a reason.
I love you Matt Palmer! I cannot WAIT to call you my husband. You are my forever, and I love you bigger than the sky. Marryyyy meeee already would ya!!!?
See you next week!
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